Fancy a free handjob from a scantily clad semi-hottie? No! Leave me alone!

Taiwanese men. Seriously.OK, not all, but don’t deny a high percentage come across like serious wusses when it comes to the fairer sex.

Picture the scene:

It’s a typically muggy summer’s afternoon in Taipei and you’re ambulating down a lane, scooters zipping past, amah’s haggling with street trader’s, the foul scent of cho dofu assailin your nostrils and, lo and behold, a couple of half nekkid floozies that look like they just stepped out of the local knocking shop run up and grab you, one on each arm.

“Fancy a handjob?” they chirp, sweetly as finches (alright, squawk, shrill as tortured magpies). “No strings attached, it’s just for a TV competition between us two to see who can bring a guy off first?”

Naturally you recoil in horror and tell these wanton strumpets to get to fuck. What the bloody ada do they think they’re about, soliciting random sexual encounters with an upstanding pillar of the community such as yourself? You have a good mind to report them to the author-

What’s that? Hold on a second? Let’s give this some more thought? Oh, you WOULDN’T answer like that?


Unless, you were

A) Batting for the other side

B) …

Yeah, A’s pretty much where it’s at. Man, FTNM here would be down the first available alley, trousers round ankles, getting some warmups in before the main event.

“But we’re supposed to wait until we get to the studio. It’s a competition.”

“Well, we need to make sure we’re good and prepared, eh? Practice makes perfect, etc.”

So check out this utter jessie on this video below. The fool actually refuses a free five-knuckle-shuffle off a pair of Asian AV-video act-a-likes!

God knows what this “choking the chicken” show is but, lord, sign me the fuck up pronto. Preferably with the brass on the left who, I note, is the “winner” as she has her lucky “teammate” gushing forth first – he’s actually the winner here, let’s face it.

As for anyone who rejects such advances, they are LOSERS! No wonder I hear the birth rate is one of the lowest in the world here. Pitiful.

Edit: For some reason the video stopped showing up with the link from Facebook, so I’ve reposted from YouTube. If, as I suspect, it is being stopped because the peeps at WordPress, which hosts this blog, are little prudes, then just google “Taiwan Hang Chicken” and you’ll soon get the picture!