Alex Tsai: Cunt Extraordinaire




Back in the days when FTNM was a teenager, before he had status and before he had flavour, you could find him watching legendary reality-TV trailblazers like America’s Dumbest Criminals. As much as I love that show, I always felt the title was a bit like calling a show “Germany’s Least Funny Man” or “Somalia’s Poorest Family.”

Just as redundant would be “Taiwan Legislature’s Biggest Douchebag”. What would be the point? Nearly all of them are complete titwanks, right? But wait, from the festering heap of political sewage clambers one piece of excrement more odious that any of the rest of the shitpile. This repulsive scrap of faeces is in a league of its own:

Step forward KMT legislator Alex Tsai.

All I knew about this brainless pusbag is that he was in charge of Sean Lien’s failed bid for the Taipei mayorship last year. I now know a second fact: He is a cunt of a hitherto unsurpassed magnitude.

I’m not going to get into the ins and outs of the death penalty. I won’t same I’m a massive fan of the state killing people, but I haven’t really got that much problem when the person in question kills a defenceless, innocent child. It’s not going to be a great loss to humanity, eh, let’s be honest.

What I do have a problem with is Shitpig Tsai’s comments in the wake of the murder of a poor young schoolgirl in Taipei a few days ago. He can read his cretinous ravings and incoherent gibbering (no doubt with spit flying from his gob as he ranted) in full in this article from yesterday’s Taipei Times.

But here’s just a little taster of what this guy – a guy who is responsible for passing laws in Taiwan – has to say about the opposition DPP party who seem to oppose capital punishment:

“DPP legislators worship white people’s values. Europeans push for the death penalty to be abolished and the DPP deems it a universal value.”

Yeah, those white people’s values …

Tsai the tell us:

“I went to the best universities in the world [Harvard and Columbia], but I never accepted those ideas.”

Talk about blowing your own trumpet. Strange that such a clever dick should come across as thick as pigshit. Finally, the dunderhead concludes:

“The DPP is just lazy, worshiping some white people’s evil gods …”

Yeah, those evil white-people gods that tell you not to have a death penalty. Pure EVIL. The only reason I went their universities was to, erm, see first hand what evil-god worshippers they really were … yes …

So, there you have it. Not only has this moronic clown jumped all over a little girl’s lifeless body to score political points, he has somehow managed to turn a discussion of the death penalty (which should have been left till a lot later when things had calmed down a bit anyway) into a racist diatribe.

Alex Tsai: the Legislature’s biggest CUNT.


Shut Up Britain! How would you like it if we said this shit about your leader? … Eh? … Oh.

Idiot Abroad: “How can a ‘bumbler’ get a doctorate from Harvard?” asked Wang Chien-shien, president of the Control Yuan.

So Taiwan’s President Ma won’t be lodging an official protest over the Economist calling him “an ineffectual bumbler!” How magnanimous  of him. The UK mag must’ve been shaking in its boots in fear that El Presidente would take them to task over this painstakingly accurate baseless and malicious slur! Probably.

Even if they aren’t going to “protest”, the very fact that there was talk of this by legislators shows how bloody childish and irrational they are. And it’s not just the KMT. Foreigners who have offered their tuppence worth on sensitive issues to  Taiwanese friends or family members will know that a lot of people don’t take kindly to foreigners “interfering” even when they were sometimes asked for their opinion in the first place! I’ve been taken to task for calling Chiang Kai-shek a dictator by staunch green, Taiwan independence types! He may be a dictator but he was “our” dictator.  Message: “Keep your (long) nose out forriner!” Similarly, note the DPP jumping to Ma’s defense. Message: “Only one thing worse than our crap prez and that’s Johnny Forriner lambasting our crap prez. If there’s any ridiculing to be done, we’ll be doing, aaaaahite?!”

This tribal, us-against-them mentality can be seen from the comments that there has been a “storm” in the press over the audacity of this British rag. “I feel bad and also sad some foreign media would launch such a criticism against our national leader,” says KMT legislator Lo Shu-lei.  So it would be all right if it was local media, then?

Anyway, I reckon the old KMT party are still pining for the martial law era where they used to be able to bang people up for complaining about the weather, or worse, make people “disappear”.  See, they don’t seem to be able to distinguish between a country (read government here) and its press.  How you gonna “lodge a complaint” with the British authorities for an editorial than appeared in a privately-owned magazine? If you feel you’ve been libelled, take up a suit. Don’t hear any talk of that, do you?

Amidst all the idiocy, I did have to laugh at this snidey aside in South China Morning Post:  “Diplomatically isolated Taiwan is highly conscious of its image abroad, with the local press often reporting at length if the island is mentioned in international media, even if it is as part of the weather forecast.”