Teenaged Taiwanese Boys: Female Trannies in Disguise?

Note to myself: Must work on my masculine side a bit more ...

Note to myself: Must work on my masculine side a bit more …

If you’ve ever wondered why a good few young males here in Taiwan are far from the alpha type, this young plonker may well have provided us the answer with this brilliant T-shirt.

It’s not 100% clear from the pic but basically it says “FEMALE TRANSVESTITE”. Of course, the dumbass is completely oblivious to what a complete dicksplash he looks but it does make me think … Maybe we finally have the answer to the effeminate, androgynous, asexual behavior of so many young men here. Just sayin …

In the Bag

My bag has had a very hard and day and is very tired ...

My bag has had a very hard day and day and is very tired …

You can’t really see it very clearly in this snap, but this prick insisted on hogging a space on the MRT with his oh-so-precious bag. Why do so many shitheads do this on public transport? As you can see from his “rabbit-in-the-headlights” look, he seemed to have clocked the fact that I was homing in on his sorry arse. Did it result in him taking his silly little bag off the seat? Did it fuck.

Urinal Freak

Watch out for this guy. Guaranteed on any given evening you'll come across him in the toilets nearest the first set of stairs down to the red line at Taipei Main Station.

Watch out for this guy. He seems to have disappeared of late but a while back, guaranteed on any given evening you would come across him in the toilets nearest the first set of stairs down to the red line at Taipei Main Station.

As a completely normal person, I have made it one of my New Year’s Resolutions to be more tolerant of those less fortunate individuals who were born weird.

The individual below above is one such person and I suppose there is not much he can do about it. Unfortunately, despite a huge effort on my part, I am unable to forgive him his freakery. The main reason is that his particular brand of fucked-upness involves standing for hours on end of an evening at the middle urinal in the men’s toilets near the stairs down to the red (Tamsui) line in Taipei Main Station.

The first time I noticed him I thought he might be blind, as he keeps his eyes half open so they seem to be almost rolling with the whites showing. Also, he stands so close that his head is usually almost touching the wall, so I thought he was trying to make sure he didn’t miss.

A couple of days later, I felt someone sideways glancing at me and looked to see exactly the same geezer (I remembered because of his odd behaviour on the first occasion). I thought it might just be a big, weird coincidence and that the length of time he seemed to be spending there and the proximity to the urinal could be on account of stage fright or something.

When I saw him around the same time of night (maybe 10 p.m. ish – he seems to lurk there anywhere from 7 – 10) for a third time, then I knew something was up. After I washed my hands, I decided to stand outside and see how long he would stay. Texting away to some mates, I saw him stand there for a whole 15 minutes. I called out to him and asked what he was doing. He turned and saw me and quickly turned away again pushing his head even closer to the wall. I made it clear that I was aware of his bizarre antics and that he’d better stop.

A couple of days later, there he was again, this time glancing around quite regular in the direction of his fellow pissers. I voiced my disapproval even more bluntly and, when he still wouldn’t budge, alerted one of the station cops who happened to be near by. As soon as described what was going on (the cop could basically see by my gestures), he chuckled and did an extremely accurate impression of the weirdo’s stance, which made it clear to me that he knew who I was on about.

But the cop just shrugged and claimed he couldn’t do anything (I know that expression in Chinese – meiyo banfa), which irked me even more. Are you telling me a cop can’t prevent a creepy, slightly pervy nutter from loitering for hours on end in a men’s public toilet? I’ll bet my life if it had been a forriner, he’d be up in court by the end of the week on sexual assault charges.

A few weeks later, I saw the dodgy bastard on the platform and accosted him. He pretended he didn’t know who I was but he knew damn well and scuttled his deviant arse off down the other end of the platform.

Haven’t seem him in a while, so hopefully they’ve finally removed him permanently or banged him up somewhere and not a moment too soon.

As I say, I’m trying to be a more tolerant person, kind of. But wackjobs like this make it very hard. Be on the look out for the disturbing character next time you’re taking a slash in the MRT. He may well have moved on to to pastures new.

Faking the Funk

IMG_20120419_080742

Rip-off Van Winkle

Now FTNM can, and does, spend hours bemoaning the despicably selfish behaviour one encounters daily on the MRT but the ‘fake sleeping’ technique  pretty much takes the biscuit. I’ve seen it mentioned on other blogs in Taiwan and on the news and there is no doubt it is a widespread ruse.

This self-centred grotbag was blatantly pretending. I know because I saw her peep when an elderly woman got on, then quickly make out that she was in the middle of snoozing again. What’s more, the odious trollop half opened her eyes again at one stage and saw I was aiming my phone cam in her direction. However rather than protest at my snapping her fakery, so desperate was this fathead to cling to her hard-won priority seat, that she instantly closed her eyes once again. I had my camera on the snapping noise effect mode so that there would be absolutely no question that I was capturing her mean-spirited behaviour and you can probably see a faint smirk of embarrassment  on her face that makes it obvious that she is NOT anywhere near asleep.

The fucktard next to her is not much better – a youngster hogging up a priority seat, too. The fact is, if there’s any danger of you (genuinely) falling asleep, you shouldn’t be plonking your fat arse down in the seat (I must add, by the way, the idea that almost all locals have that you’re not allowed to sit in these seats FULL STOP is misguided and clearly not backed up by the rules plastered all over the carriages. Basically it allows people to feel justified in not giving up a normal light blue seat because they aren’t ‘priority’ … I may come back to this point in a later post as I think it deserves a fuller treatment).