A Dog’s Dinner

Are you comfortable Fifi or do you need another stool to stretch yourself across?

Sometimes I have to wonder about people in this country. This odious trollop made my girlfriend and I stand for 15 minutes at a beef noodle gaff because her oh-so-precious rat-dogs had to occupy the only available stools. Worse, there was a family with their two sons who were subjected to the same treatment because it didn’t occur to Lady Fucking Muck that she was being a selfish bint,

Actually, it blatantly did occur to her, as she furtively glanced over a couple of times before sheepishly turning away, much like the pretend sleepers on the MRT, who peep to see if see if their shabby conduct is being observed. It is. And she was. This despicable old shrew definitely knew what she was about.

She was well aware, too, that my muttered cursing was aimed at her. The only reason I didn’t call her out was because my gf begged me not to make a scene.  I had a good mind to boot her fluff-ball canines to kingdom come but I guess it’s not their fault their owner is such a fuckwit.

Note, also, the strategically-placed bag, so that – even if someone were to sit on the one available stool – (the hag is obscuring it as well as her other dog, but it was in the corner) they couldn’t put their bowl down. After five minutes of standing around while she picked over her meal at a snail’s pace, I grabbed some of the stacked up stools for the missus and me and the family with kids. At least we could sit down and wait for an available table.

As the icing on the cake, check this: When the crone finished up, she carefully put on a pair of cotton gloves before lifting her dogs off the seats. She was clearly one of these OCD clean freaks that are quite common here and doesn’t handle her pooches without the proper protection. This courtesy apparently doesn’t extend to anyone who is not her. The pea-brained animals had their paws up on the table and were slobbering all over the place in a restaurant for fuck’s sake.

I’m thinking of doing a version of Viz’ Celebrity Cunt on this blog, entitled Civilian Cunt. I think we’re starting off with an outstanding candidate who has set the bar pretty damn high. What an utterly selfish fathead.