Lord, put me outta my misery before I get to this stage …

Is this what happens to old forrinners?

Is this what happens to old forrinners?

This geezer rocks. He’s busting all kinds of rudeness. Hard to see exactly how dope that shirt is from this photo, but basically it’s a pink silk Chinese-style number. He’s obviously one of those sad lifers who reckons he’s semi-Taiwanese or something. Probably has shit-hot Chinese and knows all the most obscure and ridiculous customs but they still just call him a fat old loawei behind his back.

Then, he’s toppin it off with that hat, complete with string. The only thing that’s lacking is some Crocodile-Dundee-styley corks on strings, though he does have one string for a chinstrap – a real touch of class.

If you’re not feelin his stylo, there’s also the trainers. Clunky-ass pieces of crap, shoelaces untied, giving him even more a a caj look! Love the way he’s tapping away on that laptop.

Finally, and certainly not least, what the fuck is gannin on with his bag. It appears to be hooked up to a ketring in his computer, with a cord for the headphones coming from it … and that blue light?! Cyborg alert! You’d think these man-machines could turn themselves out a little more presentable, like, though.

Seriously, though, when I see these foreign oldsters, I fear for my sanity and know I have to get out of here eventually before I end up looking like this embarrassment!

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